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Other articles in Stories > Personal
somebody has to buy it 04 January 2010
How to Butcher a Chicken for Dinner 23 March 2009
It could only happen in Ireland 16 March 2009
| The Great Hot Dog Debate |
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| Stories > Personal |
| Written by Michael Ellis |
| Sunday, 08 February 2009 18:38 |
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Hot dogs are often a subject of controversy in my house. Have been since I met Missy. Here is my understanding of the hot dog. The only time you have a hot dog is when you heat up a wiener. Period. End of story. Right out of the package you have wieners. Microwave, grill, campfire, boil, or any other way of making the wiener warm, then you have hot dogs. Missy thinks this theory is crap. Missy says a hot dog is a hot dog no matter the temperature of the meat by-product. why do we call them hot if temperature has no bearing? Missy says the word wiener is designated by elementary students to be slang for the penis. I say she is wrong, I think kids nowadays use the word thingie. Anyway, Missy hates the word wiener. It is not to be used around the kids. But it happens. Since Merrick started school, he has been getting all the forms of public education that Colcord Schools provides. He is the proof in Missy’s pudding on the wiener issue. We tried to feed him and his cousin hot dogs once, and he pulled his cousin aside and said,- Dont you know what they are trying feed us? Wieners!You know- as he is pointing down. Man that is heavy. What must have been going through that kid’s mind as I served hot dog meal after hot dog meal. Tough to brag about your dad at school when the best you can say is my dad ate 4 wieners. You know, wieners? Anytime the word wiener is used in the house, and you are talking about meat by products, Missy corrects you with the word hot dog. Buy some more wieners. You mean hot dogs? Oh they come cooked? So flash forward to the in laws in town. We have a shitszu who is just as his name suggests. We call him Brody. Brody has a teddy bear that he very close with. Very close. So we are sitting around the table eating a nice meal, when Brody and the teddy bear forget that we have company over. I’m trying to go get the dog and put him out, when Merrick shouts at the top of his lungs, OHHH LOOK AT THAT RED WIENER! Out of pure instinct Missy shouts, HOT DOGS! PS. I should note that I used creative license on this story. Missy did not shout Hot dog after the red wiener incident. What did happen was we both wanted to glue our sons mouth shut as he repeated the phrase over and over, as his grand parents who we see on a very limited basis laughed and no doubt wondered what they have let their daughter get herself into. |
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