Just the other day I was walking back to Millenium Hall from the Botanical Gardens, when I was stopped by a man in temporary financial troubles. His minivan broke down and it would cost him eighty American dollars to get it towed. The trouble arose in the fact that he didn't have all eighty dollars. When I encountered him he was a mere thirty-four dollars away from his ill-desired goal. He asked for assistance. Into my pockets my hands dove digging for money. Among assorted monies that came out of, appeared originally five dollars that I intended to transfer ownership of.

The man, who was self-proclaimed THE good black guy in the world (later revised to being one of the two), reminded me that he would still need thirty-one dollars had I merely offered that gift. My hands then found another five dollar bill. The man was disappointed, but he understood that that was what I was offering. He reminded me that he would send it back to me, and asked for my address. As I wrote my mailing address for this man, he reminded my friend Meg, who was with me at the time, that her 'husband' was a good man. With the address I offered him an additional five dollar bill. He was grateful, but thankfully the experience did not leave me with the warm feeling that is common after a 'senseless act of kindness' as such.

This whole experience in fact offered me a multitude of ethical and spiritual conflicts. I was torn ultimately by two time periods. The future and the present. The present offered itself in the individual needing immediate help in an awful situation. With thirty-four dollars (that I indeed possessed) a temporary problem that the man was facing would have been rectified. Overcoming that situation the man would have been able to personally deal with issues that were relevant to himself and ultimately the good of all society (for example better the lives of the children that he acknowledged to be in his back seat or resolve the racial inequalities he brought to light when he claimed himself THE good black guy). Along with that was the fate of the future which I believe I can control. The extra money in my pocket afforded me luxiouries which allow me to maintain in a constant fight for social justice. With out these luxuries I debate if I can continue such a stressful life of ethical concern. But what good am I doing in working for some ambiguous future justice which would make the lives of people in the future better, if I can't make that sacrifice today.