If at First You Don't Succeed....

We all know the end of that saying.  But don't we all know that the definition of insanity is to try the same thing over and over and hope for a different result?  Yet here we are, living in a country where over half of the marriages fail and yet hold to some mislead archaic statement that in and of itself is flawed.

I will explain.  I am married, happily.  My spouse and I are truly happy.  We talk, we make love, we flirt, we cuddle...

Oh yes, and we date other people.

Just lost most of you right there didn't I?  Do you even understand why your heart just skipped a beat and your blood pressure went up?  Do you get that over half of the people who read this article who are married have or will get divorced?  But in our society here in America and many other countries we are told that a marriage is between a man and a woman and the two are only supposed to be together.

Christians and Catholics hold to a scripture that I hear quoted on many occasions. "A man should be the husband of but one wife.  That is such a misquote, but I will tackle that in the religion section of SayItAloud rather than here.

Marriages fail for two main reasons, one is money, the second is cheating.  But cheating is being false, lying, or deceitful to each other. So in essence, not talking to your spouse about being attracted to someone else is cheating.

Wasn't the whole idea of your relationship in the first place finding a soul mate who you could tell everything to?  That should include your wants and desires, even if it is for another person.

My spouse and I are very open about the people we are attracted to.  No, I am not looking for anyone to replace my relationship, but I have to tell you, by just being honest about my attraction for someone else and my spouse doing the same, we have built a stronger relationship than most other couples we know.

You love the person you are with, if you don't you should have never put a ring on their finger in the first place and I am not addressing this to you.  Yes, the topic is not an easy one to bring up, but remember, we are not talking about love, we are talking about a carnal desire.

How many people in your life have you been physically attracted to and yet really did not want much more than physical attention from them?  Sex is fun, enjoyable, and a great stress release.  Sexual tension and sexual affirmation a good thing to have.  I honestly believe that if we as human beings would just be more honest and open about where we are, there would be less divorce, less depravity, and less people using other outlets to fill voids that they barely understand as the topic is considered taboo by so many.  Overeaters, gamblers, and the like, I'm talking to you.

So the next time you see your love looking at someone else, bring up the subject.  You can do it joking to get them comfortable about it.  But slowly and methodically be honest.  Sometimes the simple act of talking about it eleminates the urge.  So many times we want something simply because we cannot have it, but when we can have it, we may not want it as much.

Just remember that this is a two lane road and you have to be open to the same on your side of the street.  So if at first you don't succeed, try something different and stop practicing insanity.