What else is there to do? In the NCAA dunk contest, the winning dunk came from an alley-oop from a player in the stands. Who should get the ten, the passer or the dunker? Earlier this week we saw what the high school kids had to offer, which sadly wasn't any better. One dunker tried to slam 3 balls in at once, but to his avail he came up short. He wasn't even able to get one of the 3 to go in. At least try for 30 percent. And the dances should really go. Could you picture his airness two stepping after finishing off Dominique Wilkins?

Even though this is just a fun competition, it seems that the class aspect has stepped out the window. Make your dunk, look proud, and shake your competitor's hand. If you are going to go through the theatrics route, go all the way. I can come up with dunks which are more creative and most importantly dangerous. The judges would be giving out a lot more tens if they knew that the dunkers had their lives at stake. Unfortunately I was born with Slinkies as legs rather than springs. How about running through a ring of fire and jumping over a pool of eels and dunking it while blindfolded? That's right Kobe Bryant already did the eel thing. Replace the eel pool with a pen of raving pit bulls. That way Michael Vick could come by during his community service and clean up the mess and learn a thing or two about the ironies of life.

So the point I'm making is this. Dwight Howard, if you're going to raise the regulation height of the net, make it look as if it's difficult for you rather than looking like a teenager dunking on the elementary nets in the playground. To all dunkers : Leave the dancing at home. America's Best Dance Crew is already holding auditions for next year's season.