Mothering Several Babies at Once

BY SPIRETTE DOTTER

I know how much work it is to be the mother of several young babies at once! I can't offer a lot of advice, but can empathize and encourage anyone who is currently going through it.

I have never had twins (though I've always wanted them ...still do! ...obviously I'm a glutton for punishment and have always done things the hard way ..and I guess I'm proud of it!) But I HAVE raised six children, on my own, as a single mom. I never even had any help from extended family, due to long distance and many deaths in my family.

My first 4 children were born within 5 years. So I had 4 in diapers all at once (and then later, 4 teenage boys at once, which was much harder! ...raising adolescents makes you miss the diaper and feeding stage!). I had all my children born naturally at home (except the last was a natural birth with a midwife in a hospital). My second was born at home 20 minutes BEFORE the midwife arrived.

I nursed all my children for at least 15 months, and most about 36 months. The first two I even nursed tandem while pregnant with the third. I never bottle fed because to me, it seemed it would have been harder to deal with the pumping and the warming and washing bottles. This way, I could nurse them in bed while falling back to sleep at night. My husband only lived with me for 2 to 4 months out of any given year during our 7 year marriage, and he wasn't much help when he was around because of his depression. So I literally did ALL the work single-handedly. It was tough, but rewarding, and made me stronger.

My first two children were 14.5 months apart. So while it was different than having twins, I did have two little babies at once. Some say it's even harder that way, because there's more rivalry, since the first child is used to being the only child, and then experiences more jealousy with the addition of the second baby...whereas twins know nothing else but having the sibling experience, and sharing comes more naturally. Then there was two years between my second and third, and also my third and fourth. So by the time I was twenty five, I had four babies. For me, being pregnant was always the most awesome and ultimate joy in my life. I was blessed with easy and quick labors, and all of my births were wonderful experiences.

Having two or more babies at once is HARD. There's no way around it. The most advice I can offer is to build a very extensive support system for your self. Use your extended family, if possible. Get your hubby, friends, neighbors, and community resources to help you as much as possible through transition times. Never feel guilty for asking for what you need. Look into possibly finding a doula near you. You will be exhausted much of the time, so you need to find ways to replenish yourself. Arrange for help so you can have some respite every week. Find people to talk to that will not freak out when you express your frustration and negative feelings. You need to let it all out so it doesn't build up. When you continually allow a release of your emotions, you will have the space inside to experience the joy of loving those sweet new spirits. You will have more to give, when you take care of your own needs well.

Please support this writer
by donating through www.PayPal.com
to: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . Thanks!