Getting back at Scammers

By someone other than me:

This was written by a friend of mine who is on SayItAloud.com but does not want to give out his info so he sent it to me to post it for him. Once you are done reading it you will understand why.

So here I am at my office dealing with another slow day and hating my Mondays. Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Mondays themselves. It just happens to be the day that I have to deal with the spam garbage that got through my blockers.

Looking at my workload I realized that I really didn't have much to do that week and have one of those jobs where looking busy is more important than being busy. So I decided it was time to have some fun.

If you are like me and the millions of others, you will recognize the formatting of this email.

"Beloved,i am Mrs julie Gilbert, suffering from cancerous ailment. I was
married to Sir Gilbert lee an English shipping tycoon notable for his
great charitable activities before his death in April 2nd, 2006.. When
my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of Twenty Million Pounds
Sterling
(20,000,000.00 GBP) which were derived from his vast estates and
investment in capital market with his bank here in UK and named me as the
beneficiary of this trust fund.(All records are kept with my family
lawyer).Presently, this money is still with the Bank.
My Doctor told me recently, that I have limited days to live due to
the cancerous problems that i have been suffering from. Though what
bothers me most is the stroke that I have in addition with the
cancer. With this hard reality that has befallen me, I have decided
to donate this fund to you and i want you to use this gift which
comes from my Late husbands effort to establish a charity home for
the upkeep of widows, widowers,
orphans,destitute,thedown- trodden, physically challenged children,
barren-women and persons who prove to be genuinely handicapped
financially. I took this decision because I do not have any child that
will inherit this money and my   husband relatives are bourgeois and very
wealthy persons and I do not want my husband hard earned money to be
misused or invested into ill perceived ventures, which is the reason i
took this bold decision. I do not need any telephone communication in this
regard due to my deteriorating health and because of the presence of my
husband relatives around me. You can
contact me through my personal email address:OMITTED
Please assure me that you will act just as I have stated herein.
Hope to hear from you soon.

Remain Blessed,
Mrs. julie Gilbert"

I love that they do seem to come up with something creative to work with. Sometimes it's a famous dictator who died and the wife wants to flee the country. Other times it is a foreign lottery. No matter what it is the premise is always the same. You give them your bank account number and they will send you a huge amount of money so long as you send them some back.

So that night I went home after forwarding myself the email and logged in through my proxy. For anyone who doesn't know, a proxy is a way to stop people from being able to tell where you are logging in from. Here was my reply.

Dear Ms Griffon: (yes I intentionally got the name wrong.)

I received your email and was compelled by your plight. I felt it best to reply to you when I had time as I wanted to give your email the attention it deserves.

My life has been with little meaning and I have always wanted to find, if but a small way, some method of making a difference in this world. I do believe you have helped me open my eyes to that calling.

Please, I want to establish a rapport of trust with you and will do whatever you feel I need to, to help us go to the next step.

Ima Sukker

The email was gone and sent for not more than 20 minutes when I heard the chime coming from my inbox. I opened it to read this.

My Blessed Mr. Ima Sukker:

I am so great full to the almighty Lord that you who I chose from so many have decided to take on the calling of my sister. (SISTER??? I thought it was her husband. Wow, someone needs to get their stories straight) As a token of my trust to you all I ask is that you supply me with your bank information including your routing number and your account number. I will deposit the funds to you and you can begin immediately.

Mrs. Julie Griffon

So, not only had her story changed from a dead husband to a sister, but now her last name was different as well. I thought for just a few minutes and worked my reply back.

My Dearest Ms. Griffon:

I have very little need for money my dear. For I am one of the wealthiest men in Canada. I wish to carry on your dead sister's dream by starting the home for you and will do so at my own expense. Simply tell me what steps you wish for me to take. I should be able to open up ten homes for widows and orphans and can put them in your beloved sisters name.

Sincerely:

Ima Sukker.

Now, I was not sure if they were even going to respond back to me, but apparently the seed I put in must have been $$$ signs in their eyes as my response came back quickly and very sloppy.

My blessed Mr. Sukker

I am so pleased to here that you have monies to put to this cause. I want to helps you make the dream even bigger by giving you mre to put to the dream of my sister. I would like very much that you would provide me with your bank account number and routing number that I can put more to this effort. Please respond as quickly ass possible

Mrs. Julie Griffon

Wow, what a great person that they wanted to give me even more money. I sat and really had to think about what to do next. Simply ending it here was not going to be enough and I knew that the next step I took was going to leave me no chance to take it back. Now you will see why I didn't publish this article myself and instead gave it to 1337 to publish.

Mrs. Griffon

Before I can give you my bank information I need you to swear to the Lord, our Father in Heaven, and the mighty Boyardee that you are true in your sisters dreams. To that end I have prayed to the almighty Boyardee that if you are true you will give me a sign. So I have this sign that has come to me. If you will send me in the mail an American 5 dollar bill, I will give you access to my bank account and all of my information because you will have shown me trust. This is a very small token to prove to me that you are a true deal and not some waste of skin, piece of $&|† Nigerian scammer who deserves the impoverished lifestyle they have for their wicked deeds.

Mr. Sukker

Mr. Sukker

I have prayed to Boyardee as well and have been told that if you are true you will not need an American 5 dollar bill. Please as we are wasting valuable time give me the information I need so that my Husbands money will be put in two thehands of a good man. You will be a hero to many.

Mrs. Julie Griffon

Mrs. Griffon

Perhaps I am not the man you are looking for. Maybe you are praying to a different pasta God than I am and I should keep praying for Boyardee to find someone else in whom I can invest my vast estate. Thank you and I wish you best.

No please Mr Sukker. It is just the time that it would take for me to send you the money would be less times that we could be filling the dreams of my family. What else can I do for you to prove my truth? I have prayed to Boyardee and will do anything within humanitarian reason to prove to you I am genuine.

Ok, I believe you Mrs. Griffon. Here is my banking account information as you have asked. Please do not do anything wrong with it as this is my main account and I have well over $300,000.00 in it. I have sent it in a program that my accountant has written that can only be opened and accessed by putting in the password 1u3r5f8u9c1k6e9d.

My computer says the file is a virus and can not be opened. Please just type the account information and rounting number and I will move forward the money to you.

The file is not a virus. It goes through your network and verifies that none of your computers can spy on the information I am giving you before it allows you to put in the password. I am giving you a great deal of trust in giving you this information in the first place. If you do not trust that I am honest by now then I am afraid we cannot do business together.

That was the last e-mail I got for several days. Here is the last message I received a few days later.

May your God Boyardee strike you down for the evil person you are. Our network was infected by your virus and several computers could not be working to this day because of your evil. You will burn in a lake of fire for your decite and virus that has stopped many peoples from earning a honest living. I call a curse up on you and your family. You will find no blessings in this life or the next. You are working with the satan Mr. Sukker and your God is no God at all. My God will strike you down and you will burn for all times.

So, the present I sent them screwed up their entire network and for several days nobody was able to send out scams to people and waste the time and money of hard working people. IN closing, here was the final email I sent, that never got a reply.

Dear Nigerian Scammer:

I am so glad that you were able to help me in accomplishing my calling. You see, my calling is not to open a house for orphans and widows to the extent you describe. My calling is to stop men who are desperate from killing themselves and leaving orphans and widows after falling for scammers like you. Though not a God, Boyardee does make some heavenly ravioli that many people who fall for your lies are forced to eat. You call me evil, but you steal time, money, and dreams from people by preying on their emotions and in this case, their want to help people.

I shall set up several email accounts all over the place and make it my personal goal in life to thwart you around every turn that I can. You said I will be a hero to many and you are right. To those I have saved from your lies and your scams, I am a hero they do not even know about. To those who you have made victims who I know give slight vengeance, I am a hero. To your computers, who were sad that instead of educating and helping people in third world countries advance, to those computers I gave a quick death, I am a hero.

114, 122

I should be a hero to you as well.

Maybe I saved you from sending out an email to someone who has the means and the drive to come and kill you as you type more letters to the innocent. So, now when you think the name Sukker, know it was a Sukker who saved you.

I am Your Hero.