Living in chains

I hang my head in shame

I lose myself in a name

I am the only one to blame.

I dance in the moonlight and shiver in the cold rain looking for answers that are not there. I light a cigarette to get me through the boredom of my surroundings. Lost dreams and petty achievements seem to drown the atmosphere with sorrow. I swindle myself into thinking of a better tomorrow.

"You care too much" my mind argues with me constantly. This advice comes from the same place that says "You should cover your body in strawberry jelly and run around the yard naked." So I wonder if it is reliable. To be alive without the torment of simply existing must be viable.

The monster has crawled from under my bed and sits by my side pointing out everything I should be afraid of. I think this monster is a bastard and I can't stomach his words but I can't seem to get along without him. Most of the time I believe him even though I know it's not true. This is easier than staring at the monster that seems to stare back at me in the mirror. Secretly I like him and wish I could be him...that scares me more than anything else.

I guess I'll just get some more strawberry jelly... Ah yes, Strawberry Jelly.